Please partake in the following quiz to determine who you should vote for in the next General Election which is happening in your future.
1) Are you a racist?
a) Yes, I am a massive racist
b) No, I am not a racist
c) I am not a racist I just like some racist things stop saying that makes me a racist
2) Whose fault was that whole recession thing?
a) The Bankers, colluding with a cryogenically frozen copy of Hitler’s brain
b) Gordon Brown, working alone
c) Oh loads of things; bad loans, bad regulation, bad decisions… too much emphasis on the banking sector; Spider-Man 3; the release of the iPhone; Twitter; cheap credit; bad debt
d) Foreigners. and Gordon Brown. And the bankers. And Spider-Man 3.
3) A large megacorporation wants to do some fracking in your garden
a) That’s great; I can use the extra income from the fracking to invest in wealth creation
b) No way! Fracking is bad. Offer to put a wind turbine there instead
c) Something about banks
4) You have been diagnosed with a serious yet hilarious illness and have to go and see your GP. You know that you would not be able to afford the treatment yourself. Would you prefer
a) Free prescriptions for all hard-working families and everyone I know and like
b) It is my fault I am poor; I will die quietly so as not to be a burden upon my superior humans
c) Some kind of very complicated insurance system like they have in america only a bit better maybe I don’t know it’s quite complicated
d) A referendum about staying in the EU
e) GO NORTH
5) You go north. You are in a courtyard. To the left is a WIZARD. On the floor is a MANIFESTO. You are holding a VOTING SLIP
a) GO SOUTH
b) USE MANIFESTO
c) KILL WIZARD
Mostly As: You go SOUTH. You are back in the hospital. It is empty. On the floor is a KIDNEY DIALYSIS MACHINE
Mostly Bs: You use the manifesto, but it has no effect.
Mostly Cs: You kill the wizard, who was actually a metaphor for the political system. There is a riot and you are killed.