1) Death Bridge, London

Death Bridge in London was opened in 1943 in order to confuse potential nazi invaders. To cross it drivers must accelerate to 90 miles an hour, ride up the side and go across the top or turn into a boat.

2) The (Death) Science Lab, Micro Machines 96

This road is incredibly dangerous; you have to wait until the sponges line up.

3) Death Avenue, San Diego

Built in 1742 by early Spanish settlers, Death Avenue features flying cars and dinosaurs. In those days, travellers used to take extra horses to feed to the dinosaur, but tourists these days are simple advised to carry surplus steaks. It’s much safer these days but still 19 people die there each day.

4) Death Boat Road

The only road to cross the Pacific, Death Boat Road is a floating road. Not only does that mean it sways from side to side in choppy weather, but it also features a large number of gaps between sections and also the risk of fighter jets landing on you. It’s certainly not for the faint hearted!

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1) I Eat Your Grave! (Sergio Lorenzo, 1976)

If “Once, Twice, Three Times I Kill” is Giallos’s Citizen Kane, then surely Lorenzo’s “I Eat Your Grave” is it’s Magnificent Ambersons. Like Orson Welles, Lorenzo’s lesser known follow-up was butchered, both literally and metaphorically, by his producer Klaus.

Clocking in at over 19 hours, Lorenzo’s masterpiece features Pachinko Robinson as civil servant Hatvil Unger who, while investigating who has stolen his wife, finds himself trapped in a dark netherworld of intrigue, murder and despair. Sadly the original soundtrack, like Lorenzo himself, is presumed dead.

2) Death Mountain (Karl Hurwitz, 1980)

Like many of the copycats of George Romero’s Dead series, Death Mountain was initially ignored by critics and audiences alike. It was only in the late 1990s, after it was accidentally screened on Channel 5 on a Sunday afternoon, that it began to gain a cult following.

Featuring Thom Yorke in an early role, Death Mountain presents a dark apocalyptic nightmare in which dead cats return from the dead and stalk their previous masters. Sadly, the original opening scene – featuring 3 Hitlers on their death beds – has been lost, though the European cut does feature a scene with a robot in.

3) My Mother Is A Teen Aged Monster! (Alfred Oleg, 1956)

After being cursed by carnival dentist Roger Halloway, down-to-earth housewife is transformed into a 17-year-old fan of rock-and-roll music and eating corpses in this mid-century shocker.

The film, starring anonymous, so shocked 50s America that is was banned and hastily recut as the more well-known My Mother Disappeared For A Week.

Oleg’s career never really recovered, and his last credited directing job happened soon after.

4) SpikeFace Assassin (Clive Axel & Yuki Yakamoto, 1990)

Predating the Playstation by 5 years, SpikeFace Assassin combines the twin joys of that guy with the Spikey Face from Hellraiser with being a ninja. Devised by the twin  minds of cyberpunk heros Clive Axel and his alter-ego Yuki Yakamoto, the film epitomises the 1990s in a way that has not been seen before or since (the 1990s).

5) Line 20: Goto Death (Everead Kalede, 1988)

After a chance meeting with a spooky travelling hobo games developer, 19-year-old geek Gavin Humbrell gets drawn into a death-related text adventure. If he reaches the end, his prize is success with girls; if he dies – he really dies.

This incredibly authentic computer-related thriller featured a 20 minute title sequence and a deliberately faulty batch of reels that never loaded.

6) Man slices another man’s face off (unknown, 1898)

This film was found buried in a box in the back of a creepy house.

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The International Office ThinkTank of Ideation, an independent think tank run by me, has thought about the following electoral reforms which it will formally submit to some guy in time for the 2020 election.

We built a giant robot to use data and complex simulations to determine the pluses and minuses of each result. Full analysis of the algorithm and data sets are available within the robot. We cannot switch it off. It is coming.

1) A Giant Robot reads all the manifestos and calculates using science which will be best and selects MPs based on this.

CON: Cold analytical utilitarian approach to data may well result in the death of millions.
PRO: Improved economic growth and a strong manufacturing base.

2) A Giant Robot reads all the manifestos and calculates using science which will be best and selects MPs based on this.

CON: Cold analytical utilitarian approach to data may well result in the death of millions.
PRO: Improved economic growth and a strong manufacturing base.

3) A Giant Robot reads all the manifestos and calculates using science which will be best and selects MPs based on this.

CON: Cold analytical utilitarian approach to data may well result in the death of millions.
PRO: Improved economic growth and a strong manufacturing base.

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